Hello Old friend,
Firstly, it is wonderful that you are here. To have taken the time to take an introspective look at the definitions of life itself. I am incredibly grateful that you have chosen this repository of philosophical, spiritual and confrontational ideological praxis as education into your working axioms. It is my honour to be able to deliver these principles to you.
It is a true privilege to share my understandings of the muck and mire, we call our lives. It is thus also my burden that I personify all these written meditations and personal opinions in my own real life. I have always been determined that this blog should never become a “How-to Guide“. Or a “For Dummies Guide” to abundant success. Not only do I not know these perfected steps, nor do I think it is appropriate to prescribe a way of life to anyone.
My interpretations are of those spiritual moments which make you feel life just that little bit differently. I am still attempting to navigate more efficiently the troubled waters of a young Coloured man in South Africa. A 1995 baby. A Born free. A generation born out of Apartheid and racially segregated social strata. Nelson Mandela’s dream. I am a Black man in the world. A modernised heterosexual (cis-gendered) renaissance man, in the age of feminism and non-binary sexuality.
I am a Capricorn. Born Friday the 13th of January. 13:00. I have a Lifepath of 11/2. A Destiny of 22/4 and a Maturity of 33/6. A numerological life chart which as rare as 1 in a trillion. 3 MASTER NUMBERS. A perfected triangle of enlightenment. I am a non-religious yet spiritual creationist believer of God in a world filled with the egalitarian delight of a spiritually agnostic society. Essentially trying to understand my role within my negotiated and wider acquiesced social contract. The socio-political dynamics that rhythmically move all our interactions with the other inhabitants of our microcosmic habitats. The considerations of our role to each other as connected spirits in the macrocosmic fabric that makes up our society as we know it.
They say the best moments tend to have come as a result of a loss or rather that a loss gives one the needed energy to reflect on the “why”. It would be dangerous to our overall mental health if we never attempted to understand why things didn’t go our way. If we are to already accept all defeats as a happenstance of living. We run the risk of consenting to our own demise, without even knowing it. If we can not muster the courage to want better for ourselves, then sadly we have reached a mental calcification of original thought. We have become a passenger to the chaos, without recognising the opportunity that lurks beneath.
I, just as us all, have experienced great sadness. I have lost my father at the age of 4 to Pancreatic Cancer and my step-dad to Hypoglycemic renal failure at 15 years old. I also started balding at 16. I have been a champion in the sports field. I have been a winner in academic decathlons. I have been a loser of homes and familial wealth. I have been picked on and bullied for my differences. While I have also used my personality to overshadow those of lesser stature. I have seen peers that I once thought I outshined, put their heads down and surpass me in all formats of life thus far. I have clawed my way to the top of many micro-mountains. I have also thrown myself off these high perches too, due to my own self-destruction and loss of self-esteem.
I, just as us all, have experienced great happiness. However, I, unlike us all, have done so in my own way. Not much help in between as a young man either. Being born just at the right time for a life full of worthy struggle and solitudinal existence. With the talents which my creator has given me, as well as the flaws too. I would hope to maximise all the chaos that leads to fruitful opportunities. So that I may better understand my order. In short, a life without trials, is no life at all. I was once told that it is good to be disappointed with life and yourself from time to time. It is a sure sign that you have lofty goals that you have yet to attain. Moreover, you have the sense to still pull yourself towards them.
I write this blog as a “Captains Log” of my triumphs and trials while navigating the waters of chaos, order and opportunity. I write this blog as a truthful articulation of my own formed opinions. The taught experience of a life filled with good and bad games alike. I am learning like us all. As we go along. I hope thus to form valuable lessons based only from the ideologies formulated here. I do not wish to want to publish so frequently that there is a dilution of a spiritual message. So posts are made in alignment with my feeling and cultivated understanding. I hope you will understand. I want you all to argue with me. Feedback is essential to both of us. I promise to approach all conversations as though new information is about to be heard. With my questions being only as a humble inquiry. Perhaps we both can learn when it is best to rent an attidue rather than buy it. For one never wants to be found so flat-footed and sub-optimally aligned, to your order diagrams and formats.
I hope that I can use this blog as a vehicle in understanding just how much power we all have within ourselves. A spiritual particle that is so strong, that it can power us towards everything it is we seek. I hope that as I write about my experiences, you will come to see just how similar we all are. Hence, one can not be justified if our pursuit of our goals, comes at a greater human cost. As we fight for ourselves, and there will be winners and losers along the way. We should not in turn, engage in activities that destroys this unique connected spirit within you. I hope that as you find your power, you will help others find theirs too. I hope that this blog will serve as a referral point for me and you in times when we need the reassurance or redirection. It’s all training. It’s ALL practice.
Share it. Like it. Save it for later. Comment. Tell me your story too.
Gratitude is ALWAYS reciprocated. Thank you.
Cornell William Titus (7.6.5.)
Author and Personification of Philosophies of “The Non-Conforming Conformist”